Confessions of a Confused Mind

“Hang in there”…”keep trying”…”shit happens”…”whatever happens, happens for good”…Have you heard these before or have they fallen on your wax-filled ears before? If you have been hearing this for sometime now, it means, you are pretty much screwed. Unless you take it by the scruff of the neck or get real lucky, its gonna reamain pretty much the same.

I am not trying to be cynical here. Nor am I saying that all the people are phonies. I might be just speaking out of confusion and frustration. I feel saturated. I am beginning to lose patience. But they say patience is virtue. Am I in a David Lynch movie? Am I listening to Crackity Jones?

To get what you want, all you need is a strong will and a “burning” desire. Well, at least that was what I thought. It’s worked like that to me till now. But now, there are other things like fate, destiny, luck, project managers, fat guys intervening. I don’t know how to take care of them. Or do I need to just wait & watch till time takes its toll. The other day someone told me to just “hang in there, it will happen in time”. I wish I were a simian or something.

How do I alter my luck or fate? Some great person said that the harder he tried, the luckier he got. I would love to believe this. Some others say that they can’t be altered. It’s written by the One, GOD. In my current situation, I would really love to see the script. I don’t remember the last time I went to a temple. Its not that I don’t believe in GOD or anything. I don’t accept the fact that I am not in control of the things in my life. One thing I believe is in Karma. I believe everybody gets only just about what he deserves. Of late, it has made me think whether this is what I deserve? If yes, why? If no, why not?

I struggle to find answers to a lot of questions. Do the answers lie with me? Oh! No, not another question.

Those 2 SMSs

I, for one, isn’t into the phenomenon of SMSing. Well, I have my own reasons for that. Iam also not the one who likes these “mushy” and “syrupy” SMS forwards. Neither very keen on the last joke made on a Sardar.

But, sometime ago I received a couple of SMSs that I really liked. They were long, yet simple and true to the core. The first one goes something like this:

Have you ever wondered what is college life about…its about the firsts for so many.. the first Independence, the first bike, the first cell, the first night out, the first crush, the first girl friend, the first kiss, the first break up, the first smoke, the first vodka, the first debonair, the first project, the first call letter, the first look of pride in parents’ eyes, the first feeling of responsibility, the first of so many and then finally the last of goodbyes.

The second one is:

Those “night outs”, those “midnight teas”, those “birthday bumps”, those “old torn jeans”, that same “rasam”, those “late night walks”, those “mother’s pickles” and that fight for them. Those “struggle for marks”..”fight with teachers”..”tears for love”..Those “B grade movies”..Those “plea for placements”..Just everything ..That’s college life..We call it “heaven”.. We are Engineers..

College life and more so our Engineering life, just couldn’t have been put in a better way. I think it takes 3 SMSs to make this one long message. But, hey! What the heck!

Things People Do (@Tech M)

And how…

I’ve been working in this company for a couple of years now. In this time I’ve come across many things that have made me question the very existence of the social human behavior (leave alone the core of it!), after all the corporate “etiquette” classes you have been through. Each and every time my patience has been put to test and some times to rest. Wish I had a Barretta to deal with them or something. Here is an account of them.

1. How lifts work

There are 2 arrow buttons besides a lift. In normal human behavior, the UP arrow is pressed when you want to go up and the DOWN arrow when you want to go down. Hey! But wait. In our company it works the other way around. Lifts get filled at the zeroth floor (mind you, the canteen is in this floor) on its way to the –1 level. So when the lift actually comes down, the only thing the people who do not have enough space to get in, manage is, a sheepish smile. Leave alone the silver-hair generation, the 20 somethings find it difficult to climb 3-4 floors.
The crowd on the zeroth floor is so much that when you come out of the lift, you will feel that there is some kinda mob war going on. You are not even given a chance to make a graceful exit. If you don’t get out in 0.27secs, chances are, you might get a free “lift”!
And they have to speak loudly inside the lift. A guy at the back is trying to “communicate” to the one in front in a crowded lift, redefining the means of communication. This is especially attributed to a certain clan(You know-who) of people. Miss the Barretta.

2. The Canteen Line

If you ever wanted to see a human chain championing their own cause, you should visit our company’s canteen. Actually this is not the point. The guy who is standing behind you for his rozi-roti has to be stuck on you. You can take me quite literally here. So much so that he is on your back like a bethaal (Vikram & Bethaal fame) or something.
The people have to take 2 spoons, although they will never use the “other”. They have to take a plate and hold it in their hands before their turn has actually come.

3. Personal Space

They have to outstretch their arms without seeing if you are invading someone’s space. Forget invading, sometimes you are lucky not to suffer a serious nose blow. Please feel free to do so, but not in the canteen please. Not in such a crowded place where you can actually lose your brother or sister!

4. Telephone Etiquette

Sounds like one of the boring workshops to attend. But, believe me you will be much happier when the people around you have indeed attended this workshop.
They have to speak loudly, be it with the client, mom, dad, friend, girl friend, cousin, cousin’s friend, and the credit card company, oblivious to the fact that there are people around who are pretending to work. When you are doing so your mobile has to ring or sing nowadays. Now they have to stair at the no. for a zillion years before they actually answer it, much to the relief of the people who are still pretending to work. Some people feel so much home at work that when they are on the phone, their divine feet are on the desk. Much like Mr.Bachchan in Deewar. The Barretta, still missing.

N.B. Please excuse Ayhay. He is born with a Dolby Digital Surround System in his throat.

5. Chair Theft

Fact, Chairs have wheels. So they can be moved from one place to another. One guy comes to meet the other. The chair of the guy, who has gone to the canteen to irritate me with his flexing and bethaal antics, becomes the victim. Another fact: chairs can travel cubicles, bays and if your fortuneteller has told you that your bad luck is really bad, it might have travelled wings. Truth is Iam also guilty of this. Tell me, who doesn’t like sitting?

6. The Parking

There are lines neatly drawn out in the parking area. But they can’t seem to stick to the boundaries. They have to put it out of the “boxes” right onto the “highway”, not even aware of the inconvenience that might be causing.

7. The ATM

They go into the ATM room, and draw money. I go into the ATM room and draw money. You go into the ATM and draw money. Difference is "they" take a mini statement, change their pin, take a mini statement of the ERA a/c, try to make card-to-card transfer and do not come out till all the items given in the menu are tried out. And then draw their money, the primary motive. All this, when there are people “urgently” waiting outside to get some money. Missing a Barretta, pretty badly.

My grievances are not just this much. This is only an initial draft. When the final draft comes out I’ll be ready with a gun!!

An Inconvenient Truth

Global Warming might seem like an age-old topic to write or read about. This subject crossed my head when I was reading about a book written by the former US Vice-President Al Gore and a debate going on with one of my friend. The book, An Inconvenient Truth has also been made to an eponymous titled movie.

Though the phenomenon of global warming was taken lightly initially, it has gained momentum in the last few years. A decade ago when I first had heard about this and made a trip to one my libraries looking for abstracts, I could barely find one in the journals. But today an Internet search on this subject finds a million pages. The subject has become deep rooted in public consciousness now, as much as Madonna or Gay rights are, at least in a few countries.

Perhaps all this attention is deserved. With the possible exception of another world war (N.Korea & Iran willing!), a giant asteroid, or an incurable plague, global warming may be the single largest threat to our planet. For decades human factories and cars have spewed billions of tons of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, and the climate has begun to show some signs of warming. Many see this as a harbinger of what is to come. If we don’t curb our greenhouse emissions, then low-lying nations could be awash in seawater, rain and drought patterns across the world could change, hurricanes could become more frequent, and El Niño’s could become more intense.

An international organization which gathers a wide range of research results from around the world as a basis for predictions on climate change, made a very grave forecast in 2001: compared to 1990, the average temperature in 2100 would rise by 1.4 to 5.8 °C, while sea levels would rise by 9 to 88 cm. In order to avert this situation, the Kyoto Protocol, which imposes reductions in emissions of greenhouse gases and other measures came into force in February 2005. In this way, Japan and other countries around the world are working to reduce emissions of Greenhouse gases. But the US of A which is the primary contributor of CO2 to the atmosphere, has not signed this owing to its effect on the economy.

Instead of blaming others, lets see how each one of us can contribute, in a small but effective way. So, here are the 10 things to do from An Inconvenient Truth.

1. Change a light

Replacing one regular light bulb with a compact fluorescent light bulb will save 150 pounds of CO2 a year.

2. Drive less

Walk, bike, carpool or tale mass transit more often. You’ll save one pound of CO2 for every mile you don’t drive!

3. Recycle More

You can save 2400 pounds of CO2 per year by recycling just half of your household waste.

4. Check your tires

Keeping your tires inflated properly can improve gas mileage by more than 3%. Every gallon of gasoline saved keeps 20 pounds of CO2 out of atmosphere!

5. Use less hot water

It takes a lot of energy to heat water. Use less hot water by installing a low flow showerhead (350 pounds of CO2 saved per year) and washing your clothes in cold or warm water (500 pounds saved per year)

6. Avoid products with a lot of packaging

You can save 1200 pounds of CO2 if you cut down your garbage by 10%.

7. Adjust your thermostat

Moving your thermostat just 2 degrees in winter and up 2 degrees in summer. You can save 200 pounds of CO2 a year with this simple adjustment.

8. Plant a tree

A single tree will absorb one ton of CO2 over its lifetime,

9. Turn off your electronic devices

Simply turning off your television, DVD player, Stereo, Computer when you’re not using them will save you thousands of pounds of CO2 a year.

10. Finally, spread the word

The above things are just a small effort for a bigger cause, a greener planet and a safer future.

My 10 Favorite Hollywood Flicks

Seems like everybody is making their lists of “Bests”. So even I thought of putting in a list of the best “crap” I’ve watched in the last few years on the silver screen and my experiences with them. I have tried to put them chronologically. So here it is.

1. Gone With The Wind

You might remember this movie best for its poster, Rhett holding Scarlett. Probably the longest movie I’ve watched apart from The Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur, I think. The movie rambles on for 4 VCDs. At the end of the movie you are like “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”. Thankfully the hero of the movie says it for you. Just Kiddin'!!!
The movie is based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell. The movie is about a rebellious woman Scarlett and her relations with her friends, family and her lovers set during the American Civil War. The movie is best to watch if you have the patience and the tenacity to hold up till the end. I personally feel such classics mean more when you watch them in one go. The above line is like the most memorable one ever said on the silver screen.

2. Citizen Kane

I watched this movie on my brother’s advice. I hunted for this movie in Video libraries, before I bought it. I was told that this one is like the “greatest movie ever made” in the history of Hollywood. Trust me when you are done watching it, you might just agree with them. I know, I did.
This movie is allegedly based on the life of newspaper magnate William Hearst. The protagonist (Kane) of the movie is a megalomaniac, who truly loves nothing, but power. Because of which he dies as a lonely recluse. This movie swept the Oscars and made Orson Welles a force to reckon.

3. Psycho

Watch this movie and you will fretter the next you step into the shower. That’s the genius of Alfred Hitchcock. This movie is based on a novel by Robert Bloch. But the kind of impact the movie has is incredible. Psycho is often seen as a path-breaking movie with an amazing storytelling and an even more amazing photography. The scene on the stairs is still fresh in my memories. The way the camera is moved in this scene is totally innovative for those times.
The movie is about a mentally disturbed hotel proprietor, Norman Bates and a secretary whom he kills in his motel. Psycho like any other Hitchcock Classic is timeless.

4. The Godfather

This is an adaptation of a novel by Mario Puzo of the same name. Just as the book revolutionized the literary world, the movie doesn’t fall short of its impact on the world of motion pictures. I can’t think of a movie, which has been made as good as the novel itself. This coupled with Marlon Brando’s acting, just leaves you in awe.
As a kid I remember my father and brother watching this and I had fallen asleep. Well, I was 10 then. Mafia didn’t mean more to me than a word of 5 letters! The movie is about a fictitious mafia family in New York. People say that its sequel is the best sequel ever. But I have my doubts with all due respect to Al Pacino’s acting. Quite naturally Brando won an Oscar for his acting that year.
The musical score sums up the “coldness” in the movie.

5. One Flew Over Cuckoo’s Nest

This movie is again an adaptation of an eponymous novel by Ken Kesey. This is easily Jack “Genius” Nicholson’s best performance on screen. His acting leaves you as insane as himself.
Randle McMurphy is a pretty criminal who declares himself insane to get into a mental institution to spend the rest of his life in comfort (comparatively). Apart from Jack’s insane act, the best I remember of the movie is a character that he calls “Chief”. A must watch for all J.Nicholson’s fans. This movie swept the Oscars winning in all 5 major categories.

6. Forrest Gump

This movie again like any other movie mentioned above is an adaptation of a novel. The movie was a brilliant commercial success. Tom Hanks delivers a very memorable performance. He surely is one of the best actors of our times. I watched this movie on TV, a couple of years after its release, and was totally blown away by the direction and acting.
The film tells the story of a simple man's epic journey through life, meeting historical figures and experiencing first-hand historic events while largely unaware of their significance, due to his low IQ of 75. The visual effects of Forrest meeting the historical figures is amazing.

7. The Shawshank Redemption

I have already written enough about this movie in my previos posts.

8. Braveheart

This is one of the movies which really inspired me as a kid. I didn’t like it when I watched it the first time(again with my brother), since it was a period movie. But when I watched it a few years later, I really admired it.
Braveheart is loosely based on the life of William Wallace, a freedom fighter of Scotland. The movie opens with the line “I shall tell you of William Wallace. Historians from England will say I am a liar, but history is written by those who have hanged heroes." Mel Gibson’s acting is simple comendable but he won an Oscar for his directing skills. The last scene is the most memorable one for me from this movie. He would be brought to a public square fro execution. Refusing the taunts of the executioner to accept subjectivity to the king, he yells his last word, "Freedom!”.

9. The Matrix

Put all sci-fi movies on one side and put Matrix on the other. This can be easily called the most influential path breaking action movie of our times. So much so that it got Malashri doing a Trinity in a Kannada movie !! I still remember watching the promo of The Matrix on US Top 10. I saw Neo dodging the bullets. I just looked at my brother in disbelief.

The film describes a future world in which the Matrix is an artificial reality created by sentient machines in order to pacify, subdue and make use of the human population as an energy source by growing them and connecting them to the Matrix with cybernetic implants. A must watch for all the geeks and to all those who “felt” there was something wrong with this world.

10. Gladiator

Never thought a movie in which a hero is wearing a skirt would become an all-time favorite to me!
Russel Crowe’s acting is nothing short of breathtaking. The director Ridley Scott’s effort of recreating the images of Rome and the amphitheatre is plaudable. This is one of those movies which you would like instantaneously. The dialogue delivery of Crowe is amazing. The scene in which he walks down to reveal his identity to Commodus is the high-point of the movie. A must watch to all Russel Crowe’s fans and to all those who aren’t his fans yet!!

When I was making this list there were many movies, I felt bad to have left out. But I guess this is what happens to any movie buff who goes to make a list of his “Bests”.

My Brother, Kiran

Iam the kinda of person who doesn’t get influenced by people around. There have a very few people who have been able to do so. My brother has been the biggest one.

I have grown up with my brother for the better part of my Life till now. I can say that growing up with my brother has been very good, with a certain sense of satisfaction.

We were like any other brothers growing up together. Except, not actually.

The brawls, the fun, the camaraderie (at times!), the expectations from parents, teachers to match my brother in Academia (failing miserably), my own expectations to match my brother in sports (failing miserably, again), stealing snacks from kitchen, getting posters for “my side” of the wall, making missile launchers with a piece of wood and 3 nails, playing cricket, squash, T.T. as soon as mom n dad would go out of the house, yes sir, we had it all.

When I was growing up I had this habit of aping anything he would do. I tried to dress like him, used to wrap my books the same way, putting a sticker on it, arranging the books in the bag, arranging the paraphernalia inside the “geometry” box, folding the handkerchief, placing it in the pocket, keeping money in the pocket, parking the bi-cycle and many more minute things that I can’t remember now. So much so that, I used to try to play soccer with my left-foot predominantly than my right one and ended on my backside once! Somewhere I feel that I even used to try to think like him.

The movies he watched, the soaps he watched, were also religiously watched by me. I still remember many movies that I made fun of when he used to watch, but have become my all-time favorite ones after he made me watch them like Forrest Gump, Braveheart, The Shawshank Redemption, The Wonder Years and so on.

After the formative years like above, things changed. He went to college in a different city but used to come home on weekends. We used to speak at length about his friends, college, people, life and so on and so forth. We would go up to 3AM in the morning at times. I can’t actually remember what we spoke, but it was a lot of fun and education. I simply would love it. This continued even after he begun working. Even to-date Iam all ears whenever he says something about profession, life and just about anything.

It’s been a long time now that he left abroad and hasn’t come back even once. I hope to seem him soon someday and maybe catch with all the things of the past. Of course it would be difficult because we are all “grown up” now. But I hope we will connect.

And yes, will try to ape some more…Thank You, Brother…For Everything...

The Shawshank Redemption

I watched the movie The Shawshank Redemption for the millionth time. And I can tell you that I can watch it a zillion times more. The difference was, this time I watched it on my Sony PSP. Small screen Big effect!!

The Shawshank Redemption is based on a Stephen King novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption. It’s basically a prison drama, but much different from anything else you might have seen, about how to live your day-to-day life in desperately difficult times.

I still distinctly remember the first time I watched this movie ages ago. My brother had knocked on my head and had made me watch this movie, when I actually wanted to watch Lethal Weapon!

It's simple to say The Shawshank Redemption is about hope, but it is also about faith and love. The movie is primarily about two characters Andy Dufresne and Ellis "Red" Redding. The beauty of the movies lies in the contrasting lives of Andy and Red. One is very enigmatic and hopeful and the other is hopelessly hopeless. In spite of their contrasting attitudes they connect well. The acting is just top notch from both of them. Particularly Freeman’s acting is exceptional. His performance is so unshowy that it goes totally unoticed, but it’s the soul and “voice” of Shawshank.

In 1946, a banker named Andy Dufresne is convicted of a double murder, even though he stubbornly proclaims his innocence. He's sentenced to a life term at the Shawshank State Prison in Maine, where another lifer, Ellis "Red" Redding, picks him as the new recruit most likely to crack under the pressure. The ugly realities of prison life are quickly introduced to Andy: a corrupt warden, sadistic guards led by Capt. Byron, and inmates who are little better than animals, willing to use rape or beatings to insure their dominance. But Andy does not crack: he has the hope of the truly innocent, which (together with his smarts) allow him to prevail behind bars. He uses his banking skills to win favor with the warden and the guards, doing the books for Norton's illegal business schemes and keeping an eye on the investments of most of the prison staff. In exchange, he is able to improve the prison library and bring some dignity and respect back to many of the inmates, including Red. Finally he escapes from the prison with no clue left behind. Red and Andy are united at the end of the movie after the former is paroled.

After the movie is over it makes you look back and wonder. The film is not actually about prison life. Shawshank is indeed the name of a prison and most of the movie is within prison walls and about a warden, guards, and inmates. But they are just side notes to the symphony about friendship, loyalty and most prominently “Hope”. This explains the title’s allusion to Redemption.

The memorable surprises in the film are only the icing on a carefully crafted cake. When the director spins the story upside down, it is only after we have invested our hearts and minds into these characters. Only later do we realize the plot has underlined the emotions all the while. We squeal with delight and hope as the movie folds. We feel compelled to rewind and watch it all again.

On second visits you will find insights into a plethora of nuances that crave discovery-minute expressions and missed dialogue often not caught in the first viewing. You will experience this each and every time you watch it. And every time you watch, Andy and Red’s redemption warms our hearts. Their continuing ability to hope, spontaneously rubs on us.

The last few lines of the movie just waltzes you away.

Sure I remember the name. Zihuatanejo. A name like that is just too pretty to forget.
I find I am excited, so excited I can hardly hold the pencil in my trembling hand. I think it is the excitement that only a free man can feel, a free man starting a long journey whose conclusion in uncertain.
I hope Andy is down there.
I hope I can make it across the border.
I hope to see my friend and shake his hand.
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams.
I hope.

This movie gives a fresh lease of life to anyone who has lost hope. So lets “Get busy living or get busy dying”.