Her: I was reading your post. It's true right. God is within us. In all the good we think and feel, if not do. In retrospection, I have never thought badly about anyone or anything. Maybe I would have hurt so many by my own perception of good which in their perception would have looked bad.
It's also said that good people deserve good things. Take the case of your friend X. She is a good girl right, who used to take care of u, who is always been there for you, even you are there for her whenever she needs you. Then why is it that good people like her don’t get a good person. A million times I have felt that what I want for myself is right in front of me. But there are so many reasons stopping me from getting that. Again, is this what 'Our God' wants for us? Coz if we believed it totally that everything was in our hands, then I could have got what I wanted without having to think about my fate not wanting it, without having to become one more X, who will call you in the middle of the night and crib about her life.
Him: As I understand it, Life is not perfect. We strive for perfections with all our imperfections. Good people deserve good things has always been very esoteric to me.
You might know the kind of person u want is right in front of you. You maybe right u maybe wrong. It’s not the end of all to have a good life.
According to me, in such cases, if its meant to be and want it as badly as the other person, it will come around. Otherwise its just not meant to be, this is what I tell myself at least. If only everything turned out as we expected it to be, it wouldn't be Life. It would be very mundane.
Two people can be very good friends but they can't necessarily be a good couple. I feel.so, I'm not saying it can never happen. There is no guarantee that one way or the other it would be beautiful or misery.
Be happy. Take things as they come. Don't compare. Everyone has his own beauty. Explore it. And you will have a good life. But I do hope you would call me. Not midnight though.
Her: Why does it happen that when fate comes to you, you reject it? And when you want it, fate rejects you?
Him: I'm not a big philosopher or an 80 yr old' to answer this convincingly. But from whatever li'l I understand…
The system is designed in such a way that when something comes there is no sign that he/she/it is the one. We might think that it is the one and cling to it or put it aside n move on. That's the beauty of life, if we knew everything from the back of the hand, the purpose would be lost.
You are never on your own. You are dictated by situations, bound by commitments, or in some case u just don't see it. So you really can't blame yourself for looking the other way.
Learn to smile at these things. Don't worry what you lost. Look at what you gained.
I hope I made some sense.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Old Joy
One of the ways of idling away a wintery night is to sink under a quilt, look out into the dark and reminisce the past. The childhood.
Then what actually sets in is a sense of what the romantics called the Sublime: getting lost in the years of wonder, a surrender of the self.
Quite strangely the thoughts "wander" chronologically. It starts with the times of playing cricket on the road, breaking the neighbor’s window panes. Running out in the middle of the game to watch Mithun da's action flick on doordarshan. The sheer joy of watching Tales Pin and Duck Tales on sunday mornings. Getting up at 3AM to watch cricket matches. Running back home breathlessly after school to watch the dying moments of a cricket match.
Waiting for dad to come home on a Friday evening with the new edition of the sportstar. It was actually the center-fold poster that aroused the curiosity. Reading all those Tinkles and Tintins. The rides on dad's scooter. The excitement of going out to eat Masala Dosa. Buying 10 shunti peppermints with 50 paisa on the way to the school.
Renting a VCP for a day and try squeezing in as many movies as possible. Two Raj Kumar movies for the old. Two Van Damme movies for the young. Watching Jackie Chan movies for 10 rupees at a nearby theatre.
Matching the color of the eraser, pencil, scale and other paraphernalia with that of the cute girl who sat next to you in the classroom. Fixing the class quizzes so that you look like a real smart ass to the cute girl.
Making the 5 fold paper planes with the math notes at the end of the academic year. Stripping the notebooks off their hardbound and constructing houses with them. Eventually bringing down the house by "directing" an action sequence where the hot wheel scar swirls out of control and smashes into the house.
Waiting for mom and dad to go out for groceries so that we can loot the eatables and conduct our cricket "world cup" played with the rolled up paper ball and the pencil case which served as a bat. We made sure India won most of the world cups.
Hitting a tire around. Playing cop and thief with the tires. Flaunting the bicycle. Taking it for a walk. Cycling to school. Cycling back home in record time. Watering the plants. Letting a paper boat sail in the drains and running behind it.
Working on projects like designing a missile launcher with a wood plank and 3 nails. Launching the missiles into the neighbor's garden. Testing the range of those. Redesigning to achieve a longer range.
Sending postcards with questions to 'Tinkle Tells You Why'. Waiting for the trinn of the postman's bicycle hoping that he would bring news of us winning some prizes.
Hanging out with your best friend and discussing the adventures of superman. Wondering whether there is superman's dress available in the market which would make us super. Trying to do a Tarzan and breaking my left arm, while the best friend runs away from there.
And it doesn’t end at this.
15 years since the last memory of the innocent past. Things have gone topsy-turvy. There is no more beauty in minimalistic things. Wants have become very materialistic.
There is a kind of inherent queasiness to revisiting a dormant friendship. You try to rekindle the bond but eventually it becomes clear that time elapsed is not the only roadblock standing between estranged friends.
The old joy is all the blissful joy there ever was.
Then what actually sets in is a sense of what the romantics called the Sublime: getting lost in the years of wonder, a surrender of the self.
Quite strangely the thoughts "wander" chronologically. It starts with the times of playing cricket on the road, breaking the neighbor’s window panes. Running out in the middle of the game to watch Mithun da's action flick on doordarshan. The sheer joy of watching Tales Pin and Duck Tales on sunday mornings. Getting up at 3AM to watch cricket matches. Running back home breathlessly after school to watch the dying moments of a cricket match.
Waiting for dad to come home on a Friday evening with the new edition of the sportstar. It was actually the center-fold poster that aroused the curiosity. Reading all those Tinkles and Tintins. The rides on dad's scooter. The excitement of going out to eat Masala Dosa. Buying 10 shunti peppermints with 50 paisa on the way to the school.
Renting a VCP for a day and try squeezing in as many movies as possible. Two Raj Kumar movies for the old. Two Van Damme movies for the young. Watching Jackie Chan movies for 10 rupees at a nearby theatre.
Matching the color of the eraser, pencil, scale and other paraphernalia with that of the cute girl who sat next to you in the classroom. Fixing the class quizzes so that you look like a real smart ass to the cute girl.
Making the 5 fold paper planes with the math notes at the end of the academic year. Stripping the notebooks off their hardbound and constructing houses with them. Eventually bringing down the house by "directing" an action sequence where the hot wheel scar swirls out of control and smashes into the house.
Waiting for mom and dad to go out for groceries so that we can loot the eatables and conduct our cricket "world cup" played with the rolled up paper ball and the pencil case which served as a bat. We made sure India won most of the world cups.
Hitting a tire around. Playing cop and thief with the tires. Flaunting the bicycle. Taking it for a walk. Cycling to school. Cycling back home in record time. Watering the plants. Letting a paper boat sail in the drains and running behind it.
Working on projects like designing a missile launcher with a wood plank and 3 nails. Launching the missiles into the neighbor's garden. Testing the range of those. Redesigning to achieve a longer range.
Sending postcards with questions to 'Tinkle Tells You Why'. Waiting for the trinn of the postman's bicycle hoping that he would bring news of us winning some prizes.
Hanging out with your best friend and discussing the adventures of superman. Wondering whether there is superman's dress available in the market which would make us super. Trying to do a Tarzan and breaking my left arm, while the best friend runs away from there.
And it doesn’t end at this.
15 years since the last memory of the innocent past. Things have gone topsy-turvy. There is no more beauty in minimalistic things. Wants have become very materialistic.
There is a kind of inherent queasiness to revisiting a dormant friendship. You try to rekindle the bond but eventually it becomes clear that time elapsed is not the only roadblock standing between estranged friends.
The old joy is all the blissful joy there ever was.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Quarter-life Crisis
The other day, one of my friends turned a year older into the later half of the 20s. I happily welcomed into the club and we discussed how life would get into muck from here on.
As a follow-up, a couple of days later he sent a forward which pretty much echoed the travails of being over the hill. (I feel over 25 is over the hill!)
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
P.S. I hope there wouldn't be a sequel to this, the Mid-life Crisis !
As a follow-up, a couple of days later he sent a forward which pretty much echoed the travails of being over the hill. (I feel over 25 is over the hill!)
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
P.S. I hope there wouldn't be a sequel to this, the Mid-life Crisis !
Monday, July 14, 2008
Lesson of Life
Learning is an imperative part of life. And it never ceases. You learn about friendship, love and sometimes about life in general. You learn from various avenues. Sometimes from friends, parents and sometimes from yourself and sometimes even from absolute strangers.
I once learnt something about relationships from a stranger in a very subtle, implicit way. Cut to a few years, when I was still in college, one of close friend's b'day was due. So I went to a gift shop along with a few other friends to get a present. We chose something and handed over the gift to the shopkeeper to wrap it. The lady shopkeeper came over to us with a few wrapping papers asking us to choose one. The friends that had come along were looking at the covers and deliberating which one to choose. Looking at their confused faces, I told them "just choose some paper; it’s just for S anyways". The lady shopkeeper who heard this quipped "That's the mistake we often make" with a soft smile on her face. I looked at her blankly and went out. I didn't read much into it as it didn't make much sense to me then.
Later, I realized the meaning in the words of that lady. We often take people who are very close to us for granted thinking that they would understand. We fail to express our feelings thinking that they know how we feel about them. We fail to appreciate their good gestures to us thinking that it is expected from them.
That's the mistake we all often make. It’s very important to express our feelings with our close ones from time to time and at any given opportunity, because sometimes it’s just too late and we end up losing them.
As Jack Nicholson says in the movie, 'About Schmidt': Learn to appreciate what you have while you still have it.
Monday, May 05, 2008
A Midsummer Night's Dream
I Dream. Its Surreal. I experience something Surreal. Its not a Dream.
Nature has a way of expressing itself. Be it its fury or beauty. Either of it leaves us in awe.
Its almost midnight. There is no electricity. The Moon is in crescent and looks like its smiling. There is a deafening silence for a second. In the next second, there is a pleasant sound. Its of the softly blowing wind and the rustling of fallen leaves. The trees are swaying rhythmically. The plants have a very subtle movement.
I see a window. There is a girl standing. I'm not alone, anymore. She seems to be playing hide- n-seek with the drapes which are moved around by the wind.
I get to the window. The breeze runs through my body. Its the softest embrace ever.
Each and every detail of the night is meticulous. Looks like the nature is conducting an orchestra. Its harmonious. Its beautiful.
I hope the night would stay.
Nature has a way of expressing itself. Be it its fury or beauty. Either of it leaves us in awe.
Its almost midnight. There is no electricity. The Moon is in crescent and looks like its smiling. There is a deafening silence for a second. In the next second, there is a pleasant sound. Its of the softly blowing wind and the rustling of fallen leaves. The trees are swaying rhythmically. The plants have a very subtle movement.
I see a window. There is a girl standing. I'm not alone, anymore. She seems to be playing hide- n-seek with the drapes which are moved around by the wind.
I get to the window. The breeze runs through my body. Its the softest embrace ever.
Each and every detail of the night is meticulous. Looks like the nature is conducting an orchestra. Its harmonious. Its beautiful.
I hope the night would stay.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Poetry, In Motion
So far, I've had some good days. I've had some bad days. During the bad ones I've retorted to different things at different points of time. Sometimes it would be music. Sometimes it would be writing. And a lot of times "looking" into myself.
In the recent past, I've a new found interest in poetry. Yes, you read it right!
Poetry stuck a chord with me when I was listening to a U2 song which had some beautiful lines at the end. It was actually form a lovely poem penned by Rushdie.
Galvanized by this power of phrase and conversations with a friend who is "qualified" to speak about it, I've started exploring poets from the times of the "Romantic Movement" like Keats to the 20th century like Frost.
The beauty of poetry is it can be interpreted in 100 different ways by 100 different people. For example, white is interpreted as death personified by one and could be interpreted as the a symbol of peace by the other. Of course, sometimes its contextual.
Most of the poets start very young. Like Keats, who wrote most of his significant poems even before he was 24! Truly, "a thing of beauty is a joy forever". And his greatest ambition was to be "among the English Poets".
Let me quote a couple of lines from one of my favorites of Blake, The Chimney Sweeper.
And because I am happy & dance & sing, They think they have done me no injury.
I wonder where they draw their inspiration from. Is it their power of observation or introspection or were they just born to write?
Reading some of the poems of Keats, Blake et al, I'm startled by their power to move me, at my own amazement in the presence of their intelligence, craft and charm.
In the recent past, I've a new found interest in poetry. Yes, you read it right!
Poetry stuck a chord with me when I was listening to a U2 song which had some beautiful lines at the end. It was actually form a lovely poem penned by Rushdie.
Galvanized by this power of phrase and conversations with a friend who is "qualified" to speak about it, I've started exploring poets from the times of the "Romantic Movement" like Keats to the 20th century like Frost.
The beauty of poetry is it can be interpreted in 100 different ways by 100 different people. For example, white is interpreted as death personified by one and could be interpreted as the a symbol of peace by the other. Of course, sometimes its contextual.
Most of the poets start very young. Like Keats, who wrote most of his significant poems even before he was 24! Truly, "a thing of beauty is a joy forever". And his greatest ambition was to be "among the English Poets".
Let me quote a couple of lines from one of my favorites of Blake, The Chimney Sweeper.
And because I am happy & dance & sing, They think they have done me no injury.
I wonder where they draw their inspiration from. Is it their power of observation or introspection or were they just born to write?
Reading some of the poems of Keats, Blake et al, I'm startled by their power to move me, at my own amazement in the presence of their intelligence, craft and charm.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Simple Truth
I’ve been watching a lot of “Indie” films off late, under the influence of my brother. One of the recent ones that I watched was “2 Days in Paris”.
Succinctly, the movie is about a NY based couple (Marion and Jack) trying to rekindle their relationship with a visit to Paris, home of Marion’s parents and several of her ex-boyfriends! I found it as a smart and funny respite from most of the romantic comedies that I have watched in recent times and certainly grows on my love for movies with narrations. Adam Goldberg is at his quirky best and Julie Delpy doesn’t fail to impress on her directorial debut.
Although the movie is funny throughout, it has a very emotional and riveting ending. The closing narration by Marion about aging, loneliness and love brings out the dark and true aspects of the human life.
Marion: It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that it’s over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.
I feel, you might be with a person for 2 years or 20 years. But, in the end, it’s all about how you feel about it. You either want it or not. Plain and Simple.
Succinctly, the movie is about a NY based couple (Marion and Jack) trying to rekindle their relationship with a visit to Paris, home of Marion’s parents and several of her ex-boyfriends! I found it as a smart and funny respite from most of the romantic comedies that I have watched in recent times and certainly grows on my love for movies with narrations. Adam Goldberg is at his quirky best and Julie Delpy doesn’t fail to impress on her directorial debut.
Although the movie is funny throughout, it has a very emotional and riveting ending. The closing narration by Marion about aging, loneliness and love brings out the dark and true aspects of the human life.
Marion: It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that it’s over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.
I feel, you might be with a person for 2 years or 20 years. But, in the end, it’s all about how you feel about it. You either want it or not. Plain and Simple.
Monday, January 28, 2008
When 2 become 1
They say, In the mathematics of Love, one plus one remains one. And how true is that!
Two of my best friends took another step closer to the holy matrimony. It was a sheer pleasure to be around to witness it. It felt good or rather great to see them together, taking their 6 years of courtship towards the most fitting conclusion.
She stood there, decked up to see her dreams fall into place. He stood there, decked up and all ready to steer the relationship into its next turn. And we stood there witnessing the, friendship set to music:Love.
I've known them separately and I've known them together. And I whole heartedly feel that they wouldn't have found anyone more perfect for each other than themselves. Rhetorically speaking, they are just "made for each other". It brings great joy to see them taking owes to spend their rest of lives together.
When I say they are perfect for each other, it not without reason. They have very special qualities distinct to each other. Yet they manage to pull it off since they complement each other so well.
I wish them all the very best for all their endeavors. Salute!
And for the rest of us its still, "Its better to have loved and lost...."
Two of my best friends took another step closer to the holy matrimony. It was a sheer pleasure to be around to witness it. It felt good or rather great to see them together, taking their 6 years of courtship towards the most fitting conclusion.
She stood there, decked up to see her dreams fall into place. He stood there, decked up and all ready to steer the relationship into its next turn. And we stood there witnessing the, friendship set to music:Love.
I've known them separately and I've known them together. And I whole heartedly feel that they wouldn't have found anyone more perfect for each other than themselves. Rhetorically speaking, they are just "made for each other". It brings great joy to see them taking owes to spend their rest of lives together.
When I say they are perfect for each other, it not without reason. They have very special qualities distinct to each other. Yet they manage to pull it off since they complement each other so well.
I wish them all the very best for all their endeavors. Salute!
And for the rest of us its still, "Its better to have loved and lost...."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)