Confessions of a Confused Mind

“Hang in there”…”keep trying”…”shit happens”…”whatever happens, happens for good”…Have you heard these before or have they fallen on your wax-filled ears before? If you have been hearing this for sometime now, it means, you are pretty much screwed. Unless you take it by the scruff of the neck or get real lucky, its gonna reamain pretty much the same.

I am not trying to be cynical here. Nor am I saying that all the people are phonies. I might be just speaking out of confusion and frustration. I feel saturated. I am beginning to lose patience. But they say patience is virtue. Am I in a David Lynch movie? Am I listening to Crackity Jones?

To get what you want, all you need is a strong will and a “burning” desire. Well, at least that was what I thought. It’s worked like that to me till now. But now, there are other things like fate, destiny, luck, project managers, fat guys intervening. I don’t know how to take care of them. Or do I need to just wait & watch till time takes its toll. The other day someone told me to just “hang in there, it will happen in time”. I wish I were a simian or something.

How do I alter my luck or fate? Some great person said that the harder he tried, the luckier he got. I would love to believe this. Some others say that they can’t be altered. It’s written by the One, GOD. In my current situation, I would really love to see the script. I don’t remember the last time I went to a temple. Its not that I don’t believe in GOD or anything. I don’t accept the fact that I am not in control of the things in my life. One thing I believe is in Karma. I believe everybody gets only just about what he deserves. Of late, it has made me think whether this is what I deserve? If yes, why? If no, why not?

I struggle to find answers to a lot of questions. Do the answers lie with me? Oh! No, not another question.