Friday, November 19, 2010

Stand By Me - 1

Friends have always been a very integral part of my life. Some of them have them have always been around through thick and thin. They have been like family. In-fact i've confided more often with them than I have with my family. This has not always gone down well with my family. Though, it feels nice when friends and family click. But it hasn't really being so in my case. Maybe I just didn't make it a habit of opening up with them. Maybe I wasn't ever in the comfort zone with them. Maybe its just me.

But this isn't about my family feeling hard done. This is about all the different people who have been very close friends at different points of time in my life and how they thought me a thing or two along the way.


My first close friend was V. This guy was around during a significant part of my childhood. From kindergarten to tenth grade. He was a part of all my adventures and misadventures as a child and I was his. He was a smart chap and he helped me look smart. He used to think big in that tender age and would encourage me to do the same. But as we grow older, our egos also grew and so did the distance. He tried to rekindle the friendship after a few years but then I was comfortable with how things were now than how they were then without any hard feelings. He got married last year and I didn't get an invite. I wish him well.


I met T in the most exciting times of a young man's life, the teens! This guy was an eternal optimist. He was super cool about everything. At a time where everyone was seriously making plans for career and life, this guy would sleep! That's because he would be tired cycling to college and back home! He always said that one shouldn't be too serious about life and how it would all fall into place with time! He is a doctor now :) I haven't met him in a long time. But I think I'm gonna see him soon.


The next one, S, was the least emotive among all my close friends. We had carved out an uncharacteristic friendship quite unknowingly. He opened up about things to me that he normally wouldn't with anyone, even under the extreme influence of booze! He was a very hard working person with his priorities cut out like the ten commandments. Seldom is one genuinely excited about a friend's success, but I really was when he got his first job. I knew how much it meant to him. But it all started sliding downwards soon after. He thought I squealed about something he had told me that was close to his heart. Things got nasty and that was it. We reconciled after a few years and we meet often now. But sometimes, when things change, they are never the same again.


Next, another S, is probably the sweetest guy I've ever met and he is the person I've been most rude to! His smile, naivety and weight is totally disarming. He is the kinda guy you don't have to sweat to be good friends with. He was very much there during my teen 'tragedy'. He is a great guy, with whom friendship is just waiting to happen. And even today, after almost a decade of knowing him, he still continues to amaze me with his goodness. We might not be as 'siamese' as we were doing college, but we still haven't lost the beat.


(to be continued..)

Monday, November 15, 2010

Fluttering Butterflies

I'm just staring at something. Its been a while. I want to close my eyes. But scared. I wish there were some words. I take a step. And then two back. AmI sleepwalking back again? I feel numb. I try to wiggle my toes. I hope something happens. I don't want to be left in an emotional limbo.


I've forgotten a few things over the years. I want my whole life to flash in front of me once. Maybe I need a free fall. Maybe I just need to switch off the lights and stare into the soul. I hope its not too dark out there.