Friday, April 17, 2009

Rain Down On Me

The city got its first bit of serious rains of the year tonight. The locals have been wanting this more than the elections or the IPL. With the mercury ever so rising to levels never observed in almost half a century, the showers came as a much needed respite.

The most welcome rains are those that break the stinky summer sweat. It truly is one of those small things that bring great joy.
Here, when it rains, it pours. And when it pours, it takes the electricity with it. And this annoys the oldies at my house cause they can't see another of their "favorite" child sing or the evil MIL plotting something against her DIL.
But I think being "powerless" takes the attention away from the mundane things of our lives and it gets us to notice the wonder of the rains.

The experience of the tonight's rain was simply sublime.
The smell before the rains reminds me of the summer vacations of the childhood. As the rain starts to fall perpendicularly to the ground the tempo of the sound increases. This drowns out the noise of the vehicles. There is not a hint of wind. The motionless tree looks like a work of art with the aurora and the rain in its background. The rain drops weigh down the floating dust particles and nails them to the ground. I stand at the window as drops of rain ricochet from the leaves of the plants and onto my face. I just close my eyes. I feel it giving me a complete wash down and draining all the jadedness.
I feel revitalized.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

A Clockwork Orange, Redux

I just couldn't help writing after watching this wonderful movie from the American indie genre, Donnie Darko. The eponymous protagonist played brilliantly by Jake Gyllenhal represents all that infests the tortured head of a particular sullen boy, a schizophrenic teenager flailing and failing to find relief amid the ''normal'' crisis of adolescence. He is very reminiscent of JD Salinger's cynical anti-hero Holden Caulfield. And there is this song “Mad World” at the climax which just blows you away with its beautiful lyrics. It almost sounded like a revisit to the mood of one of my previous posts. You should probably hear this song before you continue reading to make any sense of what I'm interpreting of the song. Here is the link to the song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MyMOi4LEr4)

I think this is the strange reality of the world we live in. You feel so isolated from the people who could be your closest friends. But you could connect to the expressionless faces of people whom you don’t know and who don’t care whether you're ok because they're worn out. They are too wrapped up in their own problems to recognize that anyone else maybe struggling to keep going.
You feel so low and so lonely that only your dreams reflect how you truly feel. And the only dreams that are any good are the ones in which you are dying. In fact you have never had better dreams because these dreams show the true you. But at the same time you want someone to realize that you are not ok and you want help but you just don’t know how to ask for help because it is so hard and that makes you feel so alone in this mad world.

All children should feel happy on their birthday but it isn’t so. When you go to school it is like everywhere else. It’s like you are invisible. No one sees what’s wrong. They "look right through me” and this hurts so bad that they don’t see you, like you and your feelings don’t matter at all.
And once again you mean nothing. It’s so funny, in a way ironic even that the dreams in which you’re dying are the best you've ever had and the thought that your life has gotten this bad is saddening. This mad world can be so painful.

I listen to this song and to me it describes how it feels when you are depressed. It’s a great song and if you took the time to listen, you would know a little of what it feels like. It sucks.